Condom? Condom? Anyone for a Condom?

So! I bet you're wondering about why I have such an obsene title for this blog... Well too bad you are curious because I'm never going to tell you!! MWAHAHA! No. Jk. This is what happened:

I was in the Health Center with two friends (one who was getting blood drawn), and we were in the waiting lobby preparing ourselves to here Caroline scream and cry. I looked to my side where there were a bunch of pamplets advertising things like "I used a condom... but it broke." And there was the infamous "How to use a condom" pamplet... There were also 'Man on Man' and 'Woman on Woman' safe STD preventing sex brochures...
I got up to get one of these... interesting pamplets... and I came across a bin of various medications and stuff. They read: 'Advil, Claritin, Hauls, CONDOMS, Ibeprophen... etc.' The lable on the condoms read also: "Take as many as you need because safe sex is smart sex! Please do not take all of the condoms as we are rationed for them each year. Thank you, and remember- be Smart!!" I took a condom and stuffed it into my pocket...

Later that day, I was going number two and I looked over at my pants and was like, "Hmmm... I'm bored and I have a condom in my pants..." So, I got it out and took it out of it's container and the thing was freaking huge. It was like 12" long and 2" wide and I was like, "DAMN! I could never fit into this tiny condom. What to do with a lubricated stretchy economy-sized condom???"

SO!

I took the condom and stretched it a few times and I put it up to my mouth and blew. I blew long and hard. ...And when I was done the condom took the shape of a humongous boob.

I tied the end and threw the inflated condom around the stall.

BUT THEN...

I thought to myself, "I can't go walking out of the men's restroom with a large condom! I've got to pop this thing!"

I got my keys out and was ready, aimed, and about to stab-----and some guy walked in. lol.

When he left, I slit the condom with my keys and let the condom go flying around the room. I put my pants on etc... and I put the condom into the toilet. I flushed. The paper and condom-wraper all went down... ...but the condom did not. Oh well, there's a condom floating around in a toilet somewhere. -I left the bathroom.

Then I found ten dollars.....................